Tired of dealing with this shit!

This scenario had happened a million times. I don't understand why I am still here living with this asshole.

So I ask a question.

He gets frustrated.

I tell him to calm the fuck down.

He calms down after i started getting frustrated.

I stopped talking.

Silence for the rest of the trip.

I keep ignoring him.

We go to bed.

He massages and caresses me but doesn't say a word.

Now i am still mad and cannot sleep.

But he is already snoring up a storm.

#FML

Wish it never happened

"Respect your mother!", my Dad yelled as he heard me stomping up the stairs while arguing with my Mom.

I recall back when I still lived at my parents house. When my parents fought, I see no mercy in my Dad for my Mom! It's a constant yelling and cursing. My Dad cursed up a storm while my Mom just cry and say a lot of bad things that happened in their marriage, in our family. I can even remember a time that their fight became physical and my Dad almost hit my Mom, but I came in between them which stopped him from doing so. 

He never respected her! Yes he does what she tells him, but he always degrades her, tells her she is stupid, and she does not know what she is talking about when she attempts to share her two cents. And when he gets provoke, it gets worsed. That's what I've always remembered all my life.

It is hard learning respect towards my Mom when the norm has been seeing my Dad disrepecting her. Trust me, I've tried. In fact, I have respect for mothers. I have no issues with my Mother-in-law, not with any other mothers I know. But it's hard at home, with my Mom. It may also be because I've got my character from my Dad - impatient, stubborn, hot-headed.

When I became a mother myself and moved in with my own family, I thought things would change. I thought that I would understand her as a mother myself. It was seven years living away from them but still communicating and talking to my Mom and listening to her constant whining about each and every single issue with my Dad. Unfortunately, nothing has changed between them. He even got worse since nobody could stop him from doing nasty things to her. He even cheated on her and lied to her over and over again!

Then, they moved in with me and my family.

It's like living the past. When I see her and talk to her in flesh, all I could think of is how little he made her become. All I could hear is my Dad constantly cursing at her about how useless she was - but she isn't.

How I wish that it was all different in our family or that I never saw him treating her bad or even hear his taunting words to her. Wish it was never how it is now.

Money Money Money! It's the rich man's world

I do sure hope I'd become a millionaire, thus, I love Bruno Mars' song {Billionaire}! Who doesn't?!?

I'd like to convince myself money is not the most important thing in life. But it's hard when you live paycheck by paycheck and surrounded by people who regular shops, eat out, travel, or just spend a lot of money [that I will never have] and show them all off everytime. I am so envious of them! True that there are more important things in life than just material things, but money makes people (like me) happy.

I have been thinking that if I win a $1m in the lottery, I would, first off, pay all the debts off like the house, 2 cars, and credit cards. I would want to quit my job but I'm afraid it wouldn't be enough. But I'd probably find a less stressful job. Preferably with less interaction with people (including employees) for lesser drama that I have to deal with. Full time with no car and house payment, hell yeah!! Wishful thinking only!

For now, I still have to face reality which is dealing with bills, stretching out the paycheck, and keep wishing for a better life with more moolah!

I want my home back

Me and my husband bought our first house a lil over a year ago. It was a dream come true for us. We got to pick our lot, chose the plan that best fits our growing family, and decided on [basic] colors for the house.

Then once we moved in, we tried to fill it as much dreams as we could [financially] - we bought our first LED TV (60 in...hell yeah!!), sectional sofa that came with a gigantic circle swivel chair, perfect dining set (we used to have a hand-me-down awkward size table and mismatch chairs). Everything were coming in together as planned.

Everyday becomes more exciting to be home - relax on our couch, and watch shows on the huge TV. UNTIL we decided to help the sis-in-law with her lazy stay-at-home husband (she has a job and he does not). It had become dreadful coming home knowing somebody else is laying on the couch and enjoying THEIR shows while i wait.. 

I miss my home - being able to relax and enjoy MY HOUSE with my husband and son. Work is stressful enough and last thing you wanna do when you get home is to be stressed even more. Unfortunately, i have no choice until these leeches move out...hopefully soon! 

So you wanna play a game!

I am talking about a game at work.

As a worker, i consider myself hardworking but knows when to take a break. I'll sit at my desk for a straight hour, get up for 1-2 minutes and back. 

Towards my colleagues - i like making friends. It's only at work where i get to socialize on a regular basis. But i hate a brown-noser and i can spot one right off the bat (just look at how brown their noses are..haha).

I've been with the company that im currently working with for almost 5 years. Started at a position where customers have the right to yell at you and degrade you, just because they think it's all your fault, then worked myself up to a back office position. A position who plays a huge importance to the company's success yet with minimal interaction with customers. And been doing this for 3 years now.

My position was brought by my hardwork, humility, and friendliness, i could say. And this department is one of best team i've been with until last year, when they added temporary employees who ended up being permanent. And they like to play games which ended up a game that i happen to know how to play!